I watched the video and decided, after sharing on Facebook, that I would go to the youtube video and comment.
My response to the video (Margem Okalwa):
I'm glad that I found this today because this is a huge topic for me. I've had personal medical history that caused me to lose my Fallopian Tubes (infection) and have had irregular menses. However, when they took the Tubes, they left the rest of the system because it all looked normal. From that, I have kept the idea of adoption/in vitro fertilization in mind. There are so many kids in the world without parents that can use parents, so I don't have to have genetical offspring if I wanted kids. I am okay with that.
However, my doctor today said that I definitely can't become pregnant even with in vitro due to the irregular menses. Between that, terrible medical history and genes in the family, and the fact that I am comfortable with my life as is (strange work hours, quiet home with me and my husband, spending money, planning trips, etc.), I don't want kids right now. If I do want kids in the future, I will end up adopting. I'm perfectly fine with that but some people still say [since I'm 27 and married] that I should have children. No, thank you, we're good right now. And being an adoptive mother doesn't mean that I would be a horrible mother or not have the "instinct"/patience to deal with kids. It just means that I would not be able to have biological/genetical kids.
Why can't people accept that decision? I don't know. It bugs me, for sure, but my life and my body are my own and this is my decision [albeit partially decided by medical issues]. And I'm fine with that. :-)
I then read some of the responses to the video and found this one. I could not stand what the person said and I had to comment.
My response (Margem Okalwa):
"I don't understand what you child free people will gain from not having kids. More money? Probably, but that's a bit materialistic. More quiet? Yeah but I wouldn't call that an exciting life. More trips? You can still plan trips with kids. More time to yourselves? That's a bit selfish, there's always date nights."
There are different situations to child-free homes. Some have to wait until their own offspring get out on their own, whereas some just don't have offspring (by choice or medical issues). Don't group everyone together.
I can't speak for every child-free home but my husband and I are well married and child-free (in "reproductive years", what most say). Reason? Medical issues on both of our sides that block or make reproduction difficult, and family medical history that we do not want to give to others [stress-related medical issues, post-traumatic stress disorder, arthritis, depression, heart issues, diabetes, etc.].
Money? Yes, it is materialistic, but that is keeping the food on the table {sometimes very little}. I would not want to bring a third person into my household and be unable to feed them.
Quiet? Yes. Quiet can be good. Especially with PTSD and other stressors. I would not want to put a third person into my household causing more stress to increase the heart issues in my husband's medical history.
Trips? Yeah, we could have kids and still plan trips but not "hey, let's just get up and go on a trip tonight" when there is a third human's schedule on the table. Have you ever tried to plan a supper out with three other humans and found that unless you plan it months in advance, not all four of you can go?
More time to yourselves? Yeah, I could have kids but after working 12 hour days in the public transportation system dealing with hundreds of passengers, I need to get away from public. I need to get away and have alone time. My husband understands this and I can do what I have to do to de-stress and become amiable again. Last I checked, a little human would not understand that Mommy is leaving the house at weird times, coming back at weird times, sleeping a lot (to stay alert behind the wheel at work), and snapping all the time (because of being unable to declutter the brain). Not all humans can actually be a full-time babysitter [parent] for 27/7, 365 days a year.
Does this mean that I will NEVER have children in my life? No. I love children; I just don't want to be that all-the-time-on-duty mother right now. I'm a wonderful aunt and a wonderful teacher at church, but that's not all-the-time-on-duty.
So please consider the fact that not every child-free home is the same.
Anyways, other opinions on the topic? I'm getting off the video page because that one person angered me by grouping all child-free people together and called us selfish and materialistic.
