Movie Review: "The Mummy" 06/07/17

This is a movie review for "The Mummy" released June 07, 2017. As I am a fan of the Mummy movies from the 1990s, I said that I would watch this. Spoilers but I did not enjoy this movie as much as the older ones with Brendan Fraser. Anyways, into the review!



Trailer

Cast
Tom Cruise              ... Nick Morton
Russell Crowe              ... Henry Jekyll
Annabelle Wallis          ... Jenny Halsey
Sofia Boutella              ... Ahmanet
Jake Johnson              ... Sgt. Vail







Plot
Two treasure hunters (Nick Morton and Sergeant Vail) use the wars in the middle east to go find treasures, without permission from the military. In one of their searches [acting completely kamikaze and dumb], they stumble upon an archeology site that has Egyptian symbols. Wait, so some Egyptians brought someone away from Egypt to bury them? That can't be good... Which it isn't because, lo and behold, they raise the mummy from the dead {go figure, for a Mummy movie}. Oh, but this time it is a hot chick with a penchant for Morton so she can become god-like by consecrating a relationship with someone, that she couldn't do back in Egyptian days because of the Magi. Will all the characters survive? Can they put the Mummy to bed?





Rating Criteria:
0/5 – No value whatsoever. Absolute waste of time.
1/5 – Barely worth any time.
2/5 – Pathetic but has a bit of something to hold the attention a little.
3/5 – Somewhat kept the attention but could definitely have used more.
4/5 – Good, but not awe-strikingly amazing. Could have maybe used a bit more to the movie.
5/5 – Go see it! Wonderful movie all around – characters, music, theme, storyline, etc.


1.5/5 - I was VERY disappointed in this movie. First off, why the hell would you chose AGING Tom Cruise as the main character? He gives off an ego that makes you not care for him and his whiny attitude was so much like "War of the Worlds" that I almost stopped watching the movie. [This is coming from someone that LOVES WotW, too! But that "I don't know what I'm doing but I'm confident about it" attitude really unnerved me.]

Second -
The explanation of the mummy's background was OVERDONE. First off, in the first few minutes of the movie, the character Henry Jekyll in England is talking about Princess Ahmanet and her background (BEFORE finding the tomb!!) and then we find the tomb and have to see the background story again. Seriously. >.> And yet does NOT explain her powers!

Third -
There is very poor character development and relationship explanation, especially between Morton and Halsey. So supposedly Morton and Halsey had sex and a backstory but never really explain it but for some reason *SPOILERS* Morton feels enough for her to die [become part god of death] to save her?

Fourth -
If a sword is going to be used to kill you, does it matter who stabs you? If you stab yourself, isn't the function of the sword still completing its task? Why not DESTROY it?! Oh wait, must save Halsey so maybe if I stab myself with the sword, I'll become part god of death and save her.

Fifth -
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in a Mummy movie?! WHAT THE FRICKING HELL!! Just because you're dealing with monsters, in specific the mummy returned to life with supernatural powers, doesn't mean that you need to bring in Jekyll and Hyde. At this point, I just went "Well, this is really getting knocked down because they are not explaining how he became Jekyll and Hyde. Not even using the character to help the storyline like "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", saying that someone in the Egyptian line cursed him to become Hyde.".

Sixth -
The main plot was "the mummy wants to consecrate a relationship with me so I am immune to death right now because I'm her chosen, even though I crashed in a plane without a parachute and crashed through a truck's windshield and still didn't get hurt". Um, writers of this movie? LEARN TO WRITE PLOTS!

Seventh -
There was a swimming scene that was far too extended but somehow (maybe due to the "I'm the chosen one" thought) Morton managed through without needing to get air as he was fighting these Crusader knight zombies / mummy-fodder.

Eighth -
Zombies. Seriously. >.>


Seriously.... If you value your sanity, don't watch this! Plot is terrible, relationships are poorly explained/developed, etcetera etcetera etcetera. If you want to watch a Mummy movie, watch the 1999 version with Brendan Fraser: "The Mummy".






"Everything Wrong with the Mummy in 15 Minutes or Less" by CinemaSins
*SPOILERS*

Thanks for reading my review! Next movie review is "Ghostbusters" from 2016.

~ Gracie




Contact me?
Twitter @Gracie_DeLunac
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GracieMaeDeLunac/
Email GracieMaeDeLunac@yahoo.com









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Movie Review: "1922" 10/20/17 Netflix

This is the movie review for "1922", released on Netflix on October 20, 2017. We watched it because we saw "based on a novella by Stephen King".




Trailer

Cast
Thomas Jane              ... Wilfred James
Molly Parker              ... Arlette James
Dylan Schmid              ... Henry James
Kaitlyn Bernard      ... Shannon Cotterie





Plot
"In 1922, a man's pride was a man's land and so was his son." When Wilfred is under the dilemma of his wife divorcing him (because he didn't want to leave the land) and losing the land because it was under her name, he had to make a decision. He didn't want to lose the land, no matter what. If he let her leave for the cities, it would be gone as well. He convinces his son that she couldn't leave and they, one night, kill her and bury her in the dry/vacant water well near the house. The police wonder what happened to Mrs. James but Wilfred James had thrown some clothes of hers into a suitcase and tossed it into the well also so claimed that she had just left, walking down the road. Maybe she had gotten to where she wanted to go or maybe she was killed on the way? In any case, Wilfred was no longer afraid of losing his land to a divorce but what other consequences of murder can come after him? Will guilt get to him? What about his son? Can his son handle the fact that he helped kill his mother? What psychological effects could occur after said murder?







Rating Criteria:
0/5 – No value whatsoever. Absolute waste of time.
1/5 – Barely worth any time.
2/5 – Pathetic but has a bit of something to hold the attention a little.
3/5 – Somewhat kept the attention but could definitely have used more.
4/5 – Good, but not awe-strikingly amazing. Could have maybe used a bit more to the movie.
5/5 – Go see it! Wonderful movie all around – characters, music, theme, storyline, etc.


3.5/5 - Slow start with the murder within the first ten (?) minutes. There were a lot of rats and at first it made sense - rats eating the decomposing body of the murdered wife. Then the rats started showing up elsewhere - eating the cows' udders, gnawing through the walls, biting his hand and making it infected, etc. The question that I had for the movie was "are the rats supposed to symbolize insanity/guilt?". I never got the answer but I'm guessing so.

This is more of a psychological movie than anything. It keeps you thinking about guilt and whatnot as the main character deals with misfortune after misfortune. Did this misfortune come as a result of murdering his wife, or was it just a coincidence?


Not for kids! If you like Stephen King, I highly recommend it but I must warn you that it drags through the story. Definitely not directed by the man himself, though I definitely would love to read the novella now. The story must be better in the novella than in this rendition.




Thanks for reading my review!

~ Gracie



Contact me?!

Twitter @Gracie_DeLunac
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GracieMaeDeLunac/
Email graciemaedelunac@yahoo.com






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Movie Review: "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" 12/23/09

This is a movie review for "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel", released 12/23/2009 in the USA.  For reference, though I thought the review was more recent, here is my review for the first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

Anyways, on to the review.




Trailer

Cast
Zachary Levi                    ... Toby
David Cross                         ... Ian
Jason Lee                         ... Dave
Justin Long                         ... Alvin (voice)
Matthew Gray Gubler         ... Simon (voice)
Jesse McCartney                 ... Theodore (voice)
Amy Poehler                         ... Eleanor (voice)
Anna Faris                         ... Jeanette (voice)

Christina Applegate         ... Brittany (voice)




Plot
The chipmunks are back and guess what: Dave says that they need to get some schooling in! Oh, and Alvin's show-off characteristic got Dave landed in a hospital in France in casts and under medical sedation. So they are being chipmunk-sitted by his cousin Toby (who is a complete social-mess). The first day of school, the chipmunks find themselves in a mess. Not only are they the smallest students of the high school [because they are chipmunks in a real high school], they also have issues with the boys because the girls are falling for the chipmunks {admit it, pop-star singing chipmunks are more interesting than muscle-bulked brainless high school jock boys}.

Somehow, Alvin finds himself in the good graces of the football boys and joins their squad. Oh, but the music department is in trouble and the chipmunks need to help save the department by winning a sing-off competition with other schools! Not a problem for the chipmunks, but Ian (the slime-ball "manager" from the first movie) was contacted by something that changes the whole 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' world: The Chippettes! Eleanor, Brittany, and Jeanette have arrived to become big stars, coming to Ian to get help into the stardom world. He gets them into the school where the chipmunks are attending, after feeding them MANY lies, and trying to up-stage the chipmunks at singing (pre-contest).

Will Alvin stick with his brothers for the competition? Will the Chippettes win over the Chipmunks? Will Ian get his revenge? Will Dave ever heal and come home?!






Rating Criteria:
0/5 – No value whatsoever. Absolute waste of time.
1/5 – Barely worth any time.
2/5 – Pathetic but has a bit of something to hold the attention a little.
3/5 – Somewhat kept the attention but could definitely have used more.
4/5 – Good, but not awe-strikingly amazing. Could have maybe used a bit more to the movie.
5/5 – Go see it! Wonderful movie all around – characters, music, theme, storyline, etc.


4/5 - Actually, I was kinda pleased with this movie. I hated seeing Ian come back but character development with cousin Toby was wonderful and it was good to see the chipmunks trying to be "normal" high school students. And it was good to see that, after a while of being misdirected by Ian, the Chippettes were able to put Ian in his place and get out from under his control.

The worst thing of this whole movie was Ian being a conniving/lying bastard, excuse the language, but he got what was coming to him. Oh, and the girls are suddenly moving in with Dave and the Chipmunks. What problems will come from this? You'll see in movies 3 and 4!




A fairly good movie for kids. Recommended! [SPOILERS: Best of the 4 movies, in my opinion, but you'll see why in the reviews for #3 and #4.]


Thanks for reading my review! Next review is for "1922", maybe this weekend!

~ Gracie



Contact me?!

Twitter @Gracie_DeLunac
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Email GracieMaeDeLunac@yahoo.com






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Movie Review: "Wrath of the Crows" 05/02/13 ITALY

This is a movie review for "Wrath of the Crows", released in Italy May 2, 2013. I bought this [years ago] from a truck stop on DVD (3 for $10?).





Trailer

Cast
Tiffany Shepis                 ... Princess
Debbie Rochon         ... Debbie
Tara Cardinal             ... Liza
Domiziano Arcangeli ... Larry





Plot
A group of people are found in a poor jail: no beds, poor hygiene (no toilets), dirty, dim, and cold. As time passes, we find out that each of them is in the prison for crimes/sins that they have committed - killing a coworker at the circus, killing a child, killing a priest, murdering women (and collecting parts of their bodies as souvenirs), etc. A new person enters the prison in one of the cells but she doesn't seem like the others. She is beautiful, covered with a crow-feathered cape and wearing a sexy black corset. How did she get into the cell without any of them noticing? It was like one hour she wasn't there and then she was. But the weirdest thing is that she seems to know more about each of them than humanly possible. Who is this woman, what is her role in this prison, and how can they all survive/escape the prison?




Rating Criteria
0/5 – No value whatsoever. Absolute waste of time.
1/5 – Barely worth any time.
2/5 – Pathetic but has a bit of something to hold the attention a little.
3/5 – Somewhat kept the attention but could definitely have used more.
4/5 – Good, but not awe-strikingly amazing. Could have maybe used a bit more to the movie.
5/5 – Go see it! Wonderful movie all around. – characters, music, theme, story line, etc.


2.5/5 - WARNING! This movie is LOADED with gore and unnecessary violence. Yes, "slasher" flick but they don't explain why the gore/violence until almost thoroughly through the movie. Reason *SPOILERS*: it is purgatory and their crimes/sins that they committed in life brought them there. So the "judge" (a blind monk that sought something other than just good vs. bad) is trying to separate their corrupted souls in the purgatory and send them to hell. And Princess, the crow-feathered cape gal? She was a helper to the monk in harvesting the souls (to send them to be eternally damned) but finds herself under the scrutiny of the monk himself because she used fiendish ways to get the souls, so she would have to stay in the purgatory prison for a "lifetime sentence".


Gore? This movie has it and it is very graphic. In the first few minutes, we see a man "Skinny" having a flashback on his sin - aborting his girlfriend's/wife's baby though she wanted it and torturing her, biting her face off with his teeth. He is later chased down by a dog-like savage human and the guards rip his teeth out of his mouth without analgesic. He supposedly dies but after the whole "trying to gain salvation" scene and dragged back to his cell, we don't hear from him for the rest of the movie {not even to see his dead body}.

Sexual appeal? This movie has it though it wasn't something that I would call appealing. Princess wearing a black corset and being seductive towards one of the inmates (and trying to get him to kill another so he could get to have sex with her) was pretty much the gist of the sexual aspects.

Violence/Evil? Rampant in this movie. Even though it turned out to be a purgatory to judge the souls, this movie was ridiculous with how much it had. Most of it was flashbacks, but still I didn't enjoy watching how this person did this and that person did that. Sure, the flashbacks explained why each was there but wow.....


Religion? Oh, my goodness. Please, no. This tries to be spiritual but how it goes about it is, in my honest opinion, way off course. I really don't think that if there was a purgatory, that the powers that be would put each guilty soul in a Nazi-like camp without proper hygiene (and whatnot) and then torment them to see if they can get better!




What knocked the rating down - the gore/violence, the slow reveal of what the place really was, not explaining how Princess (if that IS her name because maybe the older guy just wanted to use that because that is an endearing term for females) got there, etc. I honestly turned off the movie, at first, because of the gore that Skinny's flashback had with going to eat off the woman's face. I understand that evils are out there but the examples that they use are just outrageous.
Combined with the low budget and strange story-line, I find this almost completely avoidable. If you like (what appears to be) lower budget stuff, gritty, gore/violence (seemingly for the purpose of gore/violence), and gaps in story-line, go for it. Otherwise, DO NOT WATCH. And DEFINITELY don't let your kids watch!!! You think Stephen King's "IT" was bad for kids? This makes IT look like a day at the park; it is that bad.






Thanks for reading my review! Next movie to review is "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel", maybe this weekend.

~ Gracie


Contact me?

Twitter @Gracie_DeLunac
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